Friday 18 December 2020

The Twelve Days Of (Jacinda's) Christmas.

Merry Christmas Everyone!

On the first day of Christmas Jacinda gave to me
A Covid-gifted House majority!

On the second day of Christmas Jacinda gave to me
Two working-groups
And a Covid-gifted House majority!

On the third day of Christmas Jacinda gave to me
Three canned plans
Two working-groups
And a Covid-gifted House majority!

On the fourth day of Christmas Jacinda gave to me
A new four-year term
Three canned plans
Two working-groups
And a Covid-gifted House majority!

On the fifth day of Christmas Jacinda gave to me
Five heartfelt sighs
A new four-year term
Three canned plans
Two working-groups
And a Covid-gifted House majority!

On the sixth day of Christmas Jacinda gave to me
Six journos braying
Five heartfelt sighs
A new four-year term
Three canned plans
Two working-groups
And a Covid-gifted House majority!

On the seventh day of Christmas Jacinda gave to me
Seven bigots spraying
Six journos braying
Five heartfelt sighs
A new four-year term
Three canned plans
Two working-groups
And a Covid-gifted House majority!

On the eighth day of Christmas Jacinda gave to me
Eight donors paying
Seven bigots spraying
Six journos braying
Five heartfelt sighs
A new four-year term
Three canned plans
Two working-groups
And a Covid-gifted House majority!

On the ninth day of Christmas Jacinda gave to me
Nine polls agreeing
Eight donors paying
Seven bigots spraying
Six journos braying
Five heartfelt sighs
A new four-year term
Three canned plans
Two working-groups
And a Covid-gifted House majority!

On the tenth day of Christmas Jacinda gave to me
Ten Tories wailing
Nine polls agreeing
Eight donors paying
Seven bigots spraying
Six journos braying
Five heartfelt sighs
A new four-year term
Three canned plans
Two working-groups
And a Covid-gifted House majority!

On the eleventh day of Christmas Jacinda gave to me
Eleven “sorrys” spoken
Ten Tories wailing
Nine polls agreeing
Eight donors paying
Seven bigots spraying
Six journos braying
Five heartfelt sighs
A new four-year term
Three canned plans
Two working-groups
And a Covid-gifted House majority!

On the twelfth day of Christmas Jacinda gave to me
Twelve pledges broken
Eleven “sorrys” spoken
Ten Tories wailing
Nine polls agreeing
Eight donors paying
Seven bigots spraying
Six journos braying
Five heartfelt sighs
A new four-year term
Three canned plans
Two working-groups
And a Covid-gifted House majority!

And a Merry Christmas to everyone!


This parody was originally published in The Otago Daily Times and The Greymouth Star of Friday, 18 December 2020.

4 comments:

greywarbler said...

We saw Labour kissing Treasury
Underneath the mistletoe last night.
They didn't hear us creep
Thought that we're a lot of sheep
Thought that we were tucked up with
our dreams and fast asleep.

Pam Ayre puts it for the ordinary folks -
Out in the frozen countryside
Men crept round on their own,
Hacking off the holly,
What other folks had grown,
Mistletoe on willow trees,
Was by a man wrenched clear,
So he could kiss his neighbour's wife,
He'd fancied all the year...

And out of every cranny, cupboard,
Hiding place and nook,
Little bikes and kiddies' trikes,
Were secretively took,
Yards of wrapping paper,
Was rustled round about,
And bikes were wheeled to bedrooms,
With the pedals sticking out.
https://www.poemhunter.com/poem/goodwill-to-men-give-us-your-money/


And finally, the joy and real excitement of the ritual holyday
to those who have just enough, and are not blase' with
consumerism. Let's have Christmas every year!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GKHSqTz0WBk

petes new write said...

Happy Christmas

sumsuch said...

She's hard to take seriously. Nine years of National, coming from a foreign point of view, is easier to take. No one really expects more of her and Grant than to talk the right talk.

I remember Grant chatting away about his true Left beliefs on the pub politics programme. Dismissed a few doubts, wrongly.

'Friend of power', rark!

I realise there's a middle path, but the people need powerful proponents as per the proto-fascists. You've seen how dragged away from reality America is.

sumsuch said...

Grant Robertson talking up our kindness at free meal-places this Christmas. Nonpareil demand. What can you say about him?! Scared, mostly.