Blue Cheese: Hot off the press, the Finance Minister, Bill English, holds a copy of what the NZ Herald's Business Editor, Liam Dann, dubbed "The Cheese-on-Toast Budget". Nothing fancy, but wholesome, tasty and a firm family favourite.
AS NEW ZEALAND CHOWS DOWN on Bill English’s “Cheese-on-Toast
Budget” – relishing the sharp, melted-cheddar flavours of free doctors’ visits
for the under-13s and an additional month of paid parental leave – Labour must
be wondering just what they did to piss-off the political gods so badly. (As it
happens, I can give them a hint or two on that score, but it’ll keep for
another day.) Contrariwise, the near universal positivity pouring out of the
“vox-pops” (those random interviews journalists conduct with people in the
street) left little room for doubt that, when it comes to capturing the
affections of the voting public, National and the political gods have still got
a good thing going on.
And that’s the crazy thing about budgets, they’re all about
the three or four hours immediately following their delivery. It is in this
ridiculously short period of time that the character of the Government’s
economic plan – for good or ill – will be decided.
There’s quite a troop of people who play a part in this.
Obviously, the Finance Minister’s performance is important. A lack of
confidence and clarity on the part of the document’s author is seldom
considered helpful. Then there’s the Leader of the Opposition’s speech in
reply. If it’s any good, the Budget will be passed on to the news media
roasted, stuffed and with an apple in its mouth.
The media’s characterisation is, of course, crucial. If the
Opposition’s on its game editors and journalists will already have been given
the target or targets to attack. Economists and major league NGOs are then
asked to pass judgement on the issues raised. Inevitably, one of these players
will come up with the moniker by which the budget will forever after be known.
(This year that honour went to the NZ
Herald’s Business Editor, Liam Dann. He christened Bill English’s sixth
“child” the “Cheese-on-Toast Budget”. Nothing fancy, but wholesome, tasty and
always a firm family favourite.)
Sadly, David Cunliffe and his finance spokesperson, David
Parker, failed to land a single solid blow on English’s creation. Cunliffe
described it as the “Fudge-it Budget” (only to have the Prime Minister
gleefully remind him that Rodney Hide had already given that name to Michael
Cullen’s 2002 Budget). Parker’s response was typically wonkish: a perverse
mixture of praise (for the $372 million “surplus”) and impenetrable – at least
for the average punter – fiscal detail.
Not that we should be too hard on poor old Labour. What are
they supposed to do when their enemies so shamelessly steal their policies? For
the “true believers” at both ends of the political spectrum such behaviour is
unconscionable. Whatever happened to principle!
But, like “Kiwi Keith” Holyoake before him, John Key is by
no means averse to appropriating his opponent’s ideas – if that is what it
takes to hold National’s vote together. That’s because Key remembers what the
ideological hard-liners of his caucus (and Act) appear to have forgotten. That
the purpose of the National Party is to bar the door to the House of Power and
prevent the Labour Party from entering. Or, should Labour somehow manage to
gain entry, to do whatever it takes to evict them. National’s first – and last
– principle has always been: “Hold on to power at all costs, and don’t, under
any circumstances, let Labour win!”
It’s what makes good National Party opposition leaders so
ruthless and good National Party prime ministers so accommodating. It is also
why it takes a special kind of Labour leader to summon the tremendous force
required to make it through the door.
The House of Power cannot be entered without struggle. So,
if there are still some in Labour’s caucus who secretly subscribe to the theory
that all they have to do is wait until it is their “turn” to be in government,
then they should abandon it immediately. They need to understand that, as far
as National (and the interests it represents) is concerned it will never be Labour’s turn.
Think about it. It took the full weight of “Big Norm” Kirk
and the unstoppable momentum of the 1960s social revolution to oust the
National Party from office in 1972. And it was only Rob Muldoon’s refusal to be
guided by his party’s “New Right” backers – plus the extraordinary subversion
of the parliamentary Labour Party itself – that brought about the change of
government in 1984. Labour takes power only in extraordinary circumstances, and
it seldom makes those by itself.
A Labour leader more attuned to the animal spirits of the
New Zealand electorate would have described English’s effort as the “Looking
Through The Window Budget”.
He would have described National’s world in terms of a
comfortable home with its lights blazing and the dining table loaded with good
things to eat. The inhabitants can be seen through the window raising their
glasses in a toast to their own good fortune. Things had been tough, but they
have come through. They were back in the black!
Then he would have described the scene outside the house.
The people standing there in the late Autumn darkness. The ones who haven’t
made it through. The ones who are still doing it tough. Struggling to feed
their families. Despairing of ever owning their own home. Overworked.
Underpaid. Their unions under siege. Wanting a future. Angry that they’ve been
denied one. Waiting, with growing impatience, for someone to break down the
door to the House of Power – and lead them in.
This essay was
originally posted on The Daily Blog
of Friday, 16 May 2014.



